Something Worth Crying About

Short post.

I am the only one in my family that is saved (meaning I have put my trust in Jesus's death and resurrection as payment for my sins).  I used to try to witness to my family but backed off.

I've been praying a lot for them.  My parents are getting old.  I love them tremendously.  If they died without Jesus it would wreck me.  So maybe out of that selfish motive I emailed them a short email last night, telling them again about putting their faith in Jesus will guarantee their eternity, and then I wouldn't have to worry anymore.

It fell on deaf ears (at least, for now).  My father told me to get a grip, that I scare him sometimes. Both answered with kind of vague God is love answers.

I don't cry much. But I did a little bit then.  And I do whenever I think of them and their eternity.

Jesus's Blessings

My wife and I went on an anniversary tip recently. God blessed us in so many ways. His finger prints were all over our trip. So I want to publicly say to Jesus, thank you! And I also want to leave this as a reminder, so when I doubt that God cares for me, I can look back on this.

• As we were leaving, I checked the mail, inside was a happy anniversary card with some money in it from my very generous parents (and I thank them too).  It turned out that the check was just enough to allow us enjoy our trip.  
• I was hoping we could take a scenic route to our destination rather than going through a big city.  We were able to do so and it make the trip much more enjoyable.
• A smaller highway we were traveling on ended up being completely blocked, and it would have cost us at least an hour to back track and go a different route. But some quick thinking by my wife she asked a construction worker if there were any dirt roads we could take.  He kind of looked at us.  I said we were from the Midwest and had plenty of experience on dirt roads.  He slyly told us about a dirt road down a side street.  Hour saved.  I thank him as well.
• We found a very unique hotel room and a great place to eat on the beach.
• We didn't have a lot of money, but we picked two things to do on the first day that ended up being much more fun than more expensive items.
• The weather on the harbor, previously foggy, magically cleared for us like in our honeymoon trip in Chicago when we did a boat architectural tour.  The harbor tour was awesome, perfect weather.
• We checked out the Midway carrier museum, and we got lost inside reading about all the placards about how the crews lived on the ship.  We didn't even make it to the top deck which was where I wanted to go, but the time we spent below was well worth it and very enjoyable.  We have a reason to go back too.  Great museum.
• When we got to our second hotel, a room my wife and I spent a trip in before we got married (don't ask about that), we had gotten a great room but it was big and had a kitchenette.  We ended up downgrading to the original room we had our trip in, very romantic. We even saw a sea lion (or another that looked like the original) camped out at the hotel like the last time we were there.
• We has an excellent anniversary dinner at a casual place that had excellent food for relatively cheap.
• The next day we ended up finding a tide pool on a naval base / national park and had a great time splashing around with a bunch of other tourist and kids for a few hours.  We also were able to tour a monument that was fun and free.  
• We made it both to San Diego and back with no problems, just enough money to bail out our dogs, and have a very blessed time.

Thank you Jesus! I know your finger tips were all over the trip, as they have been in passed trips.  Thank you for being so generous to my wife and me.  We appreciate the gift.

The Big Crisis

All my life I've gotten help.  Just even recently my wife went to the emergency room and I had to take a spot loan out from my parents so I could afford to get the car my wife had left hours away on the side of the road.  I've been very blessed by many people in my life as I've faced hardships.  Yet I'm thinking one day I will be forced to face the ultimate hardship alone.

It is amazing to me how quickly the American church by in large is growing smaller and having less and less impact on our society.  I think 2013 marks the first year where out and out persecution of Christians has begun.  The government has been flirting with the idea for years, but now judges are starting to rule that Christians who live by their faith must adapt to the society instead or pay a price.  I expect this to get rapidly worse.

My parent's salvation is unknown.  Even my wife's is at this point.  The few friends that I have are scattered far away, and most of them are not Christians either.  I can stand with my fellow Christians that I go to a Bible study with, but I think when persecution happens it will be every man and woman for themselves for the most part.

I don't want to be persecuted. I don't want to face troubles while those that I love stand by and watch with actual approving nods that I'm being punished somehow for what I believe.  But I am almost expecting it at this point.  It will be both a really sad day but also a great one as I will put all my trust into my Lord Jesus.  By Him I stand or by Him I will fall.  It will be just He and I as I go through what I am called to go through, just like it was just Him and the Father when Jesus chose to go to the cross. I hope that day, when and if it comes, will bring me closer to my Lord in a more intimate way than ever before.  I hope Jesus's nearness to me will help me wither the sorrow of being alone and at the same time bring me hope for future Glory in His presence.

I don't know when this time will come, it could be years maybe even a decade or more away, but I hope that if and when it comes, that God will see me through and I honor Christ by forgiving my persecutors and witnessing and praying for the unsaved until my final moment.

God Answers Prayers

One of the things I wanted to do with this blog is to keep a log of prayers that God has answered.  One dramatic one was answered just recently.  My wife works night shifts, I work days.  I can't really do much on the days that she is sleeping while I'm at home because I wake her up (yard work, cleaning, dishes, etc...).  Plus she works one weekend night and is usually exhausted the morning of the other, so our weekends together are almost non existent.  I really missed our time together on the weekends as in the past we would go for little day trips and would have a great time together.  So I told my wife she should push for day shifts.  She just started her new job and is the low person on the seniority latter so she just laughed.  So I prayed that she would be able to work days.

Well God answered my prayer.  The company my wife works for decided that they want to make her a lead person at night, and she isn't quite strong enough to do that yet, so they are going to move her to days for a few months to get her where she needs to be in order to be a strong lead person on the night shift.  Coincidence? I don't think so.

It won't be for a long time, but it will be enough for us to spend time together before Winter, get our affairs back to what I call a "zero point" or in a maintainable state.  I'm very thankful to God for this.  Jesus is cool, thank you.

Family

I will never abandon my family.  I owe them too much.  But they can't provide me with the love and respect that I need sometimes because I have become so distant from them.  Fellow Christians can.

On Sin

I often feel there are two different Gospel's preached.  One is for sinners...that we are all sinners (Romans 3:10,3:23) and that Jesus died for sinners.  Salvation is a free gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8-9) for those who put their faith in Jesus (Romans 10:9, John 5:24).  The other is perfectionist...it closely mirrors the above gospel, but it confuses sanctification with a demand for sinless perfection once someone is saved.

I think Gil's Exposition on 1 John 1:8 answers which of these Gospels is correct (for me anyways).

Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible

If we say that we have no sin,.... Notwithstanding believers are cleansed from their sins by the blood of Christ, yet they are not without sin; no man is without sin: this is not only true of all men, as they come into the world, being conceived in sin, and shapen in iniquity, and of all that are in a state of unregeneracy, and of God's elect, while in such a state, but even of all regenerated and sanctified persons in this life; as appears by the ingenuous confessions of sin made by the saints in all ages; by their complaints concerning it, and groans under it; by the continual war in them between flesh and spirit; and by their prayers for the discoveries of pardoning grace, and for the fresh application of Christ's blood for cleansing; by their remissness in the discharge of duty, and by their frequent slips and falls, and often backslidings: and though their sins are all pardoned, and they are justified from all things by the righteousness of Christ, yet they are not without sin; though they are freed from the guilt of sin, and are under no obligation to punishment on account of it, yet not from the being of it; their sins were indeed transferred from them to Christ, and he has bore them, and took them and put them away, and they are redeemed from them, and are acquitted, discharged, and pardoned, so that sin is not imputed to them, and God sees no iniquity in them in the article of justification; and also, their iniquities are caused to pass from them, as to the guilt of them, and are taken out of their sight, and they have no more conscience of them, having their hearts sprinkled and purged by the blood of Jesus, and are clear of all condemnation, the curse of the law, the wrath of God, or the second death, by reason of them; yet pardon of sin, and justification from it, though they take away the guilt of sin, and free from obligation to punishment, yet they do not take out the being of sin, or cause it to cease to act, or do not make sins cease to be sins, or change the nature of actions, of sinful ones, to make them harmless, innocent, or indifferent; the sins of believers are equally sins with other persons, are of the same kind and nature, and equally transgressions of the law, and many of them are attended with more aggravating circumstances, and are taken notice of by God, and resented by him, and for which he chastises his people in love: now though a believer may say that he has not this or that particular sin, or is not guilty of this or that sin, for he has the seeds of all sin in him, yet he cannot say he has no sin; and though he may truly say he shall have no sin, for in the other state the being and principle of sin will be removed, and the saints will be perfectly holy in themselves, yet he cannot, in this present life, say that he is without it: if any of us who profess to be cleansed from sin by the blood of Christ should affirm this,

we deceive ourselves; such persons must be ignorant of themselves, and put a cheat upon themselves, thinking themselves to be something when they are nothing; flattering themselves what pure and holy creatures they are, when there is a fountain of sin and wickedness in them; these are self-deceptions, sad delusions, and gross impositions upon themselves:

and the truth is not in us; it is a plain case the truth of grace is not in such persons, for if there was a real work of God upon their souls, they would know and discern the plague of their own hearts, the impurity of their nature, and the imperfection of their obedience; nor is the word of truth in them, for if that had an entrance into them, and worked effectually in them, they would in the light of it discover much sin and iniquity in them; and indeed there is no principle of truth, no veracity in them; there is no sincerity nor ingenuity in them; they do not speak honestly and uprightly, but contrary to the dictates of their own conscience.

Rant

The world is a great big ugly wonderful place.  Hard to stay focused when it turns out the world is way more multifaceted than I ever thought it could be.  So many things to think about, look into, open up.  So much knowledge to learn that is hidden that does nothing but stroke egos but is fascinating none-the-less. What a crazy, wild mess this place is.  There are dark sciences.  There is a kind of magic (though don't mess with it).  There is a God, a perfect, all loving but all just God who offers humanity a relationship and eternity...but most of humanity turns Him down. There is a spiritual war going on 24x7 for the souls of men.  Humanity isn't the top of the food chain here even though we think we are. There are things that go bump in the night but gladly most people can't see them or will ever encounter them. And most people who read this will think I'm weird, which I am, but them putting me in the weird box to escape the above conclusions just makes the world more fascinating to me.

On Babes and Spiritual Warfare

I received this email way back in 2002. I found it again tonight.  I'm withholding names, but I thought this might be very interesting to some.

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Thank you for your prompt reply - my curiosity had been awakened by the description you'd written, and now is satisfied. I can seriously respect your point of view on this, not just out of the blind respect we are taught to have for the opinions of others, but because I know you are correct.

I have led, by some standards, an extraordinary life. I started talking at a very early age (6 months), and due to the Christian beliefs of my family, was someone in whom the Dark Realm was very interested. It is said that our enemy walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour; I personally know of the truth to that statement. It is not popular knowledge, but in fact many children are harassed at young ages by these things for purposes with which you will be familiar; it is through deceptive reinforcement of false paradigms (like extraterrestrials) that they blind the nations.

My personal experience is somewhat different. Though my young age made me, in a sense, more vulnerable to them, I had certain advantages. Being educated from an early age about the fallen powers which rule this world, and also having been taught to avoid the works of the false god of this world, afforded me some protection from false belief. So, instead of attempting to deceive me by offering visions of aliens, or ghosts, or other things which they use to do their work, they presented me with their point of view, with offerings of power and entertainment.

I can remember certain phrases particularly well; they told me stories of the ancient world, stories of bygone ages, and even of prehistoric times. They told me about how & why they accomplished deceiving people (they referred to such things as their "projects"), and they offered me access to their malignant power should I join their cause.

Thankfully, like a good boy should do when faced with a strange circumstance, at age three, I went to my mother and told her about my experiences.  She immediately called a friend of the family, an elder in a church of God who was experienced in dealing with enemy spirits. The man quickly paid us a visit, exorcised our house, and spoke a special blessing over me.

To this day, I have continually had an increased amount of protection from our Lord. I have survived four lethal car crashes & numerous other "accidents", never broken a bone nor chipped a tooth, never fallen seriously ill, and never again experienced any sort of direct incursion on my life by the manifestations & machinations of the enemy.

I believe that the Creator God allowed this to occur, knowing that the only real effect the event would have on me would be increased faith. Unlike many, who live in an undefined spiritual haze, I have personal knowledge that the Word of God is not just a book filled with moral stories. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that my God and my enemy are both very real, and that they pay more attention to this world than "mainstream Christianity" would have you believe.

The bottom line of this message, I guess, is this; since I know that we have some beliefs in common, I know I can trust you to make the right decisions regarding this information I've shared with you. The most essential information I can distill from my experiences with our enemy is this: any religious teaching not found solidly supported by the Holy Scripture is false. False religion, popular mythologies concerning "ghosts" and popular misconceptions concerning demons, are all things they use to their advantage. Unfortunately, the enemy has his fingers in every pie, not only deep in the heart of every carnal man, but also deep in the heart of many so-called Christian organizations - the Scripture clearly prophesied that the recent epidemic of reported sexual abuse by Catholic priests is the direct result of infiltration by "doctrines of demons", one of which is the forbidding of marriage (1 Tim 4:1-3).

There are other unholy doctrines that have found their way into modern Christianity, which the original apostles and disciples have scorned, but I will stop at that which we hold in common. My mission is not to convert you to my personal interpretation of scripture, but to offer you a story of personal experience, that it may perhaps strengthen your faith in the knowledge which you already have from God.

May the peace & guidance of God go with you,